Random Blog from Random Person

So, here are this week's candidates for consignment into the Room 101 of Blogland;

Boris Johnson: (Yes, I know it's about time!) The Bumbling Tory Twat has announced an end to a fuel deal with Venezeula, possibly sounding the death knell for cheaper travel for London's poorest.

He said: "I think many Londoners felt uncomfortable about the bus operation of one of the world's financial powerhouses being funded by the people of a country where many live in extreme poverty.

Clearly ignoring the Londoners who struggle to make ends meet!

Kate & Gerry McCann: Oh goodness, will these two ever get out of the news?! They're denying that they've done anything wrong, despite leaving three children under the age of five alone in a holiday apartment. Can they not see just how irresponsible that was? Come on, I'm assuming with your high-powered jobs you would have the intelligence to figure it out!

Sepp Blatter: Ever thought that the reason why the English Premier League is the best in the world, might have something to do with the top foreign players?! And if you want to strengthen the national sides, why not have a word with the National Associations (providing they're not too busy embracing their drinks, prawn sandwiches or secretaries). Wouldn't the National teams be their responsibility?!

And, while we're on that subject;

England football team management: Why continue playing the same tired, old players for every friendly? Why continuing playing Beckham, who's past 30 and playing in Mickey Mouse's League, when Walcott is just itching for a start? Bentley? Ashton? Upson? Quit blaming the clubs, and start taking some responsibility yourself!

Having only just discovered the wonders of Stumble Upon, and repetitively clicking in the hope of finding something useful/funny. Today I have learnt that the internet was definitely invented for procrastinators - considering some of the plain weird sites out there!

Oh, and it's also for tormenting beans!

Bush is a fascist.

Well, does state the obvious a little, but he has an argument to back it up!

I pretty much realised that some American's are fascistic, when they banned the Dixie Chicks from country radio for saying that they were ashamed Bush is from Texas. Yeah, so much for land of the free!

Plus, this Joanne Harris book made me think of a beautiful song;

Nelly Furtado - Picture Perfect

Reading peoples blogs this morning, it seems the consensus throughout blogland is that Eurovision needs a change.

The national institution that is Terry Wogan stated the obvious, and said that the contest isn't about the music anymore.

So, what are we going to do next year? Here's my suggestion;

1. UK, France, Germany and Spain (the biggest doners) announce that they will withdraw all support for Cheeseovision.
2. We need to organise enough people, and a petition, from a wide range of European countries to lobby the British/French/German branches of Eurovision.
3. Our demands are simple, reform the voting so that there is no chance/a slim chance of political voting succeeding.

Any more suggestions?

Listening to the Eurovision Poop Contest on the radio, through my PC (because I don't what to traumatise my poor television).

I usually try to avoid the crap festival, but this year I'm a tiny bit curious.

[Hoping that my speakers won't go on strike]

1. Ken Bruce sounds like Wogan. Aaah, how refreshing!
2. There's plenty of crapness.
3. Greece's entry is quite probably Britney Spears.
4. The usual Barbie and Ken combo are presenting.
5. I'm contemplating giving up, listening to some Real Music and coming back to laugh through the voting.
6. Haven't lost the will to live yet, currently listening to some pukey power ballad from the host nation.
7. 21:43 - the Russian entry's singing about thunder and storms, while a strong wind blows outside my window. This isn't the Crapovision version of that Umbrella song, is it?!
8. Yes, I'm still listening. For the purposes of sarcasm.
9. 21:46 - Yes, final act! Hooray! Nul Pointe Norway present something Christina Aguilera may have considered, TEN YEARS AGO! Yes, it has a beat that just screams late 90s cheese. Not that Eurovision would ever object to cheese!
10. 21:51 - Barbie and Ken are making me want to puke.
11. 22:05 - That's it! I've give up on this sh*t. I'm now listening to some Dixie Chicks - decent lyrics, beautiful music and three very cool ladies. Something puke-o-vision severely lacks!

The track I've inherited

That will probably be Elvis Presley's "In The Ghetto". It would have been the first popular song that I heard at the age of eight.

The track to pass on

This was more difficult. It has to be Dixie Chicks "More Love", because it reminds me that sometimes it's good to sit down and talk to people. Whether it's to God, a good friend or a partner - it's good to keep the relationship going with conversation.

The "work" situation: Or, should that read, "lack of"? All I want is a temp job that lasts more than one month!

Body Fascists: (It's the only word I could find for them!) Accept that size 0 is not a normal, or even healthy weight, and stop making us larger girls feeling like we need to lose weight!

The Champions League Final: contested by the two most despised teams in England, and involving both the most obnoxious manager & player! (Why couldn't Barca have been in the final?!)

Okay, good people of blog land. Can someone tell me when exactly, size 10 became to symbolise being over a healthy weight?!

It appears to have annoyed the Duchess of York.

Are we so obsessed with all our models and actresses being a size 0 (or size 4), that we've completely lost focus on what the rest of the world's female population look like?! Looking at the photo of Princess Beatrice with her mother, she appears to be a healthy, curvacious young woman. Certainly not overweight!

As for the size. Assuming she's a 10 - I'm a size 14. By the logic of whichever creep is calling Beatrice overweight, I must be pretty close to obesity!

And, I know I don't need to lose weight. If I lost any more weight I'd just be a skeleton with a couple of breasts. Don't we all know that the Victoria Beckham look is unappealing!

Who sets the standards for what is, and isn't, a healthy weight?! Because, it seems that far too much emphasis is being placed on a vague idea of overweight, and not enough on the unhealthily skinny models we see in our newspapers and on the catwalks. What kind of message is this sending to young girls and boys?! That it's okay to be perilously skinny, just don't be any bigger than a size 12!

This week's consignment into Room 101.

Tight Bastards in charge of large organisations: For cancelling my temp work this morning, because they don't want to cough up anymore money (like they were paying much already!).

That "Heartbreaker" song: By that one from the Black Eyed Peas, and that Footballer's Wife/Popstar. It's going through my head, and I hate it!

The Burmese government: For apparently doing bugger all to help the poor people affected by the cyclone. Look at China, they've shown that they can take time out from censoring Google, etc, to show that they can help their people in need. It's not difficult you know!

Because sitting in front of a photocopier all day tends to lead the mind down some strange paths.

1. The ginger one who was evicted from The Apprentice on Wednesday night is possibly Martin Jol in drag. A random tangent, what happens to these desperate people after the series? Are they really actors?

2. The workload of Admin Staff is never considered by people in high places, yet if we ever happened to decide to go on strike, I'm sure the whole country will grind to a halt.

3. Is it possible to travel clockwise around London's outer boroughs by bus? I'm sure it is, and have started work on a game to test this theory.

And, that is the (clean) extracts of what goes through my head in a normal working week!

For possible consignment into Room 101, or whatever fate we agree is appropriate.

1. The backstabbing, pathetic no-hopers from Wednesday night's The Apprentice. Specifically, the "leader" who couldn't lead a piss up in a brewery, Martin Jol in drag and "The Good Jewish Boy" who doesn't actually understand Kosher - therefore contradicting his own CV. (Yes, I'm aware that is very common!).

2. Josef Fritzl's defence team. For announcing that they're going to plead insanity. STOP MALIGNING THE INSANE! We are not controlling, power crazed nut cases.

Why is it, that I can walk up and down my street knocking on neighbours doors collecting for charity, but cannot even speak to a man that I am infatuated with?!

This is a general question, open to all of blogworld and the internet, and not refering to anyone in particular.

In the words of Radio 4 on a Saturday afternoon, any answers?

Has Avram the Undertaker steered Chelski to a European Cup final, and potentially to the league title? I only ask, because listening to 90% of Chavski fans on 606, you'd think they were in the relegation zone!

Honestly. If they had just received the best meal ever cooked they'd probably say, "well, the potato was a bit underdone, and I don't really like mushrooms!" Never satisfied!

And what is it with people on facebook?! Adding famous footballers/TV Personalities (assuming they are the actual person) to there friends, and then recommending that others do the same. Listen, the way I see it, Facebook friends are people who I've met before - either in person, or online - not some celebrity who I probably won't associate with in real life! I wouldn't even add an Arsenal legend if someone "recommended" - why would they want to know details of my life, updated in every new status?!

How long will it take for this guy to prove himself to be an inept moron? (This isn't Boris we are talking about)

A question arises from the fact that BNP have a seat in the London Assembly. Why do people feel the need to vote for an ignorant nazi?

(Opening this for discussion, because I don't know)

End with a quote referring to immigration;

He said he believed immigrants who have arrived in the past 15 years were taking more than they were giving.

Can I introduce you to a few Romanians (and Irish, and Poles) I know who are very hard working?! My Dad - himself an immigrant - has found in recent years, during the course of building works on his properties, that immigrants are more enthusiastic to get to work on time than English workers. If anyone is taking more than they're giving, I don't think it's the migrants!

As the legend that is Marcus Brigstocke says;

"Doing our jobs. Willingly. On time, on budget and with a smile!"

Good News: Ken is out.

Bad News: Some Tory Buffoon has replaced him. And Pompous Twat Coleman is still "representative" for Barnet and Camden.

Don't blame me, I voted Paddick (with the Green party lady as second preference).

Whatever. How many people will notice? How many were actually bothered when Ken was mayor for eight years?!

Coldplay's latest single actually sounds decent. As in, it has four lines in one block which make sense, and Chris Martin isn't sounding like he's been sedated.

Looks like New Labour have been ten rounds with Joe Calzaghe - that's what happens when you take from the poor, and give to the rich!